Girl Talk
by sna
Summary: A hospital ward is just about the only place the kunoichi of Konoha have time to stop and chat. Set during the 3rd Ninja War. Starring Anko, Kurenai, Shizune, Suzume and Rin. Multiparter. Part 4 up! COMPLETED.
1. Chapter One: Arrivals and Antagonization

Girl Talk

Anko, Kurenai, Rin, Shizune and Suzume - it might be a war but girl talk never goes out of fashion y'know...

* * *

Shizune could not believe her luck. Just could not believe it. She'd been working with Tsunade-sama (who she was soooo lucky to be apprenticed to and now she'd probably think she was a total moron and...) to cut a long story short she'd wound up over-exerting her chakra when a group of injured ninjas had come in. Mortifyingly, she'd blacked out in the middle of a simple leg healing and woken up in this bed over a day later with a note from the Sannin healer taped to her side-table. Apparently she had been locked in the recovery ward by her sensei herself. It was so she could recover, undistracted, and get her strength back.

If the note hadn't been written by Tsunade-sama (who she'd follow to hell and back) she'd have torn it into a million pieces and set it on fire. She'd been lying here bored out her skull for six hours now, barely able to move and wishing more than anything that she hadn't behaved so stupidly. With nothing to distract her, Shizune's every thought began circling around paranoid worries that she might be considered too weak to be a medic-nin. Sure she had the skill, but did she have the stamina? Would Tsunade-sama send her away after this? Did she have the right to work with someone so amazing if she couldn't keep up?

A million thoughts like that circled in her head, and fourteen year old Shizune scowled angrily at the ceiling, blinking back frustrated tears.

Until twenty minutes later, when the door to the ward she'd been occupying solo swung open and three more patients were wheeled in. Shizune propped herself up in her bed and tried to work out what was going on with each of them.

For a start... they were all girls and all ninjas. How rare. There were hardly any female ninja in the village right now, and the war wasn't exactly supporting an equal gender recruitment drive. Even in the healing arts, where females traditionally had stronger numbers, she'd been the only girl in her class. And Tsunade-sama the only female instructor. If nothing else that meant Shizune knew the other girls by reputation and sight - if not always personally. So few had survived this far into the war those who did got to know each other that much at least.

The youngest (about eleven years old), a purple haired girl she eventually recognized as Tsunade-sama's teammate's apprentice. Mitarashi Anko. She was very young, but very talented - though Shizune thought so in a very frightening way - and was always tagging at Orochimaru-sama's heels. It looked like she'd been poisoned - judging by the tinge of her skin and the chartnotes on the foot of her bed. (Such charts were always written in ninja medic code, but Shizune could read that much better than her mother tongue) It looked like a serious case, but she was making a recovery. Shizune wondered how a Legendary Sannin had allowed his student to be poisoned, and had further questions about the katana sitting at the foot of the young girl's bed. Oh well, given how strange Orochimaru-sama was she supposed it was to be expected.

She recognized the other two dark haired girls immediately. Suzume was a chuunin intellegence analyst, and was sitting up in her bed with a vaguely exasperated expression as she pulled back her wavy brown hair. Her legs were both bound in bandages, and Shizune deduced that she was recovering from some fractures. The bone would have been repaired, but the muscles around the breaks would need time to heal. She smiled and waved to Shizune, who returned the greeting. They'd gone through the Academy together, and Shizune remembered her as a buisiness like person with a quick wit. It would be nice to get to talk with her again.

Next to her was a slightly younger girl, the genjutsu prodigy Yuuhi Kurenai. Shizune would recognize those red eyes and fine features anywhere, especially when they were focussed on her. According to her chart, Kurenai was suffering chakra exertion like her, a common danger of genjutsu users who required extraordinary focus that often rendered them blind to their own body's capacity. Like Suzume she was sitting up and looking rather annoyed at the fact that she had to be in hospital.

Looking at those two pretty girls made Shizune feel suddenly self-conscious of her own short hair and plain looks, but - like Tsunade-sama said, the important thing was how well you did your job not how you looked doing it.

Of course, Tsunade-sama was the most beautiful person in the world, so she could say that couldn't she?

The orderlies left and they all sat looking at each other, unsure who should start. Eventually Suzume did, glancing over to Anko in the bed near hers.

"Hey, kid, how'd you wind up in here?" she asked.

"My name's Anko, not 'kid' baa-chan and I accidentally-on-purpose cut myself with Orochi-sensei's katana," came the strident reply. Shizune was impressed, in that state she'd have trouble putting a sentence together, never mind taking offense.

"How did that poison you?" she asked curiously, ignoring Suzume's mutter of "who you calling 'baa-chan'!" as the purple haired girl pushed herself up to sit like the others. Her brown eyes blinked across the room to meet Shizune's dark grey ones and she shrugged.

"Orochi-sensei keeps all his weapons poisoned. He says that if you're going to kill someone you should be as thorough as possible." she informed her with a smile, as though sharing laundry tips. Shizune 'hmmed' and decided she was lucky she'd wound up with the Sannin she had for a teacher.

"Anyway," Anko continued, "He got pretty mad at me and brought me to hospital. They had to keep his katana too, to make an antidote. He says now he'll have to create a new poison to go on all his weapons cos once there's an antidote a poison isn't really a poison anymore. Just an inconvenience."

"Uhm, I suppose that's right," said Shizune, thinking about all the new and lethal poisons she dealt with day by day in the hospital.

"Yeah, Orochi-sensei is always right about these things. He's really amazing, he's the best," Anko said proudly.

"Maybe," Shizune conceeded.

"No, definitely," Anko insisted.

"Defintely not defintely, Tsunade-sama is amazing too," Shizune felt like she was slighting Anko's religion - but there was no way Orochimaru-sama was better than Tsunade-sama.

"Not as amazing as Orochi-sensei. He has snakes," Anko said, as if this settled the matter.

It didn't. "Tsunade-sama has slugs,"

Anko rolled her eyes, "Big deal 'Oooh! Look at me! Beware my scary slugs!' pfft!"

"Hey! Slugs can be dangerous!" Shizune shot back.

"So long as you don't run too fast - they're awful slow to catch up but when they do - oh no!" Anko feigned terror from above, "Save me! Slug slime all over my clothes!"

"I've seen Tsunade-sama's slugs spit acid!" Shizune declared, she could get fiery when provoked. And this kid was nothing if not provocative.

Anko grinned wickedly, "And I've seen Orochi-sensei's snakes eat slugs!"

Time to step it up a notch, "Tsunade-sama has amazing healing arts and incredible super-strength, she could punch Orochimaru-sama's lights out and then fix it so he didn't feel it when he woke up," Shizune smiled, knowing every word was true.

Anko was having none of it. "Like hell! Orochi-sensei could easy get away from Tsunade-hime and then when she least expects it - take her apart with his amazing jutsus!"

"As if, Tsunade-sama is too smart!"

"Orochi-sensei is smarter!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Both of you quit arguing about your precious Sannin you're giving me a headache," griped Suzume, rubbing her head.

"Oi!" Shizune and Anko both yelled. Suzume rolled her eyes and flipped both of them off. There wasn't much of an argument there.

"I agree," said a quiet, edgy voice, "It's nice you both mindlessly adore your senseis but can we not harp on about it?" Kurenai said archily. Shizune suddenly remembered that Kurenai's own sensei had been brought back mortally wounded not long ago and shut her mouth. Heedless of the mood Anko just huffed, but took Shizune's sudden silence for her own victory and grinned to herself.

* * *

The quiet lasted all of half an hour before yet another patient, yet another young female kunoichi, was admitted. Unlike the others, her sensei was with her because he'd insisted on helping her to her bed. The girl was instantly recognizeable to Shizune, who knew her face from the photos in the medical school. She was top of her class for the two years she attended, and she'd graduated as a fully qualified field medic at age eight. Even Tsunade-sama had mentioned her fondly.

This had to be the genius medic Rin.

But right now she didn't look like the amazing young healer mentioned by the other medics. She looked quite ill as she rested on her sensei's back with her arms looped around his neck and was carried to the bed next to Shizune's by the window.

"Here you go Rin," the blonde man said, settling her down on the bed. She let go of his neck and managed to smile at him as he knelt down so his face was level with hers and tucked up her covers as best he could manage. He wasn't exactly dextrous, but he made up for it with enthusiasm.

"Thank you Sensei," she said quietly. "I'm sorry to be such a bother,"

"Don't you worry about it Rin, all the times you've looked after me and the boys when we're hurt - what makes you think I mind helping you out?"

She frowned and glanced at the window, "But I won't be able to train today... and today was our only day this month off missions,"

"I'll talk to Sandaime-sama about it, if you're sick we need to take time off, maybe another two days," he said simply.

"But Sensei-"

He held up a hand, "No 'buts' Rin, we need time off," he leaned in conspiratorially, "They work us too hard anyway - even if this is war, we only just got back from a month in Earth Country for cryin' out loud. I can do some other missions to make up for it." He hopped to his feet and grinned, "And just think - here's a chance for Obito and Kakashi to see how well they get on without you,"

"They'll kill each other, Sensei," she said bluntly.

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Well they'll try. Speaking of which I'd better get to the training ground. Without your civilizing influence they'll be at each other's throats,"

"Don't tell them I'm sick," she said.

"I have to tell them something or they'll assume you're dead," he told her, "Anyway, it's a time for them to worry about you for a change." He smiled brightly, and a little worriedly at her and she squeezed her hands in the covers.

"I don't want them to worry, Kakashi thinks to much already and Obito will just get upset," she said quietly.

The Yellow Flash, her brilliant sensei ruffled her hair gently, "I can't promise they won't worry, but how about I train them so hard they don't have time to?" She nodded. "We'll be waiting for you when you get out, now you just concentrate on getting better. I'll take you for Ichiraku when you escape the hospital, ne?"

She smiled and he gave her head a small pat before hopping out the window and vanishing in a blur on his way down. Rin watched him go and pulled the covers up under her chin. It took a minute, but she realized that the other girls in the room were watching her.

"Er, hello," she said. She would have felt a little uneasy if she wasn't feeling so sick; she was only ever around her team most of the time... with her sensei suddenly gone she realized that she was a little frightened of being in a room with strangers.

_How silly,_ thought Rin, _I spend my time being chased by lethal ninjas and completing horrible missions... and I'm scared of being in a room with my fellow kunoichi._

Identifying the feeling as silly did nothing to disprove it though. That happened when one of the others finally spoke.

"You've been in Earth Country!" Kurenai gasped.

Rin nodded. The mission was over, so it was declassified. She could confirm that much. They'd actually been the first team sent over the border in almost a year. Kakashi's tracking skills and Sensei's speed meant they were the perfect choice for a long-range reconnosance mission. Fast and deadly, that was their team's profile, and they had been on that mission too. She and Obito had killed just as many enemies as Kakashi or Sensei, the fighting had been that furious on the way back. Perhaps it was the stress from all of that which had allowed something as stupid as a 24-hour flu to take root in her body.

The other four girls just blinked, amazed. Suddenly Suzume, ever the pragmatic one, smiled and piped up.

"Any cute guys over that way?"

Rin had to confess she hadn't been paying attention ("Awh what kinda spy are you?"), but the conversation got started and inside of twenty minutes the five of them were talking away conpanionably. Introductions were made, identities confirmed, brief life histories revealed, star signs exchanged (Anko had to be told what hers was by Kurenai who was an expert in such matters), rumours floated and within about half an hour of Rin's arrival the talk turned to clothes, boys and the lastest advancements in shuriken techniques.

Even for ninjas, even in hospital, and even in war time - girls will still talk after all.

* * *

Part Two on it's way. Wow this is going up faster than I thought it would. Please comment, criticism always welcome and any parts you particularly enjoyed/disliked.

(You all know who Suzume is right? The female Academy teacher with glasses and wavy brown hair.)


	2. Chapter Two: Konoha's Girls

Thank you so much to all who read and reviewed! Sorry it took so long but here's chapter 2! The girls settle into each other's company... but soon its time for a few visitors to liven things up a little!

Written for Bite the hand that feeds, Anything, Aemkea, Queen Dopplepoppeous, Seventenks the Ultimate F, RurouniGochan & blue L. You guys rock for reviewing, hope this chapter doesn't disppoint!

Special thanks to Kilerkki: who read a draft on this chapter, inspired parts of Shizune and Suzume's conversation, and provided much needed veracity to the idea that Rin makes a good editor for a certain person's literature...

* * *

**Girl Talk Chapter 2: Konoha's Girls**

So it had been about an hour since the five youngest of the village's kunoichi had been deposited in the recovery ward of Konoha's General Hospital and things had settled for the most part into a reasonably easy atmosphere. It was lucky, in a way, because if girls didn't get along they usually took steps to express themselves. When the girls in question included a skilled genjutsu user, a tooth-and-claw genius, and an intellegence expert proficient in the use of pointed weapons the situation could rapidly have decended into anarchy of the most alarmingly bitchy kind. They would have needed the two medics in the room in short order.

But, things had been going well. As well as you could hope for anyway. Despite being poisoned Anko had managed to offend everyone in the room in short order (so that Shizune didn't feel like she was being singled out or anything) and was currently being distracted by Kurenai; who had for some reason found herself liking the eleven year old kid. With the aid of the horoscope book her teammates had bemusedly brought her earlier, Kurenai was trying to teach Anko about ways of telling the future but the younger girl was a little too impatient to take it all in at once.

Shizune and Suzume, for their part, were catching up with each other - which was a happy and sad business because this was a war after all - but they were smiling all the same because it was really great to get to talk to them again. Shizune had managed to pry herself out her bed and across the ward to sit in the chair by Suzume's bedside and the two were quietly talking about whatever drifted into their heads.

Rin was quietly reading one of her medical textbooks, feeling too sickly to relax into conversation like the others, and was revising new research into healing jutsus that had been developed while she'd been in the field. Her nose and eyes were running a bit, and though her head felt full of cattarah she kept gamely trying to absorb in information. It wasn't really working, but if Rin had inhereted one quality from her team it was stubborness and she wasn't about to let a book and a virus beat her.

She suddenly coughed violently and groaned at the twinge in her chest as she did. Maybe it was a good thing Sensei had dragged her to the hospital this morning. This was a nasty virus and with her finely tuned chakra sensing abilities she could feel the battle the herbal medication Yakushi-sama had given her waging war on the symptomatic aspects of the fast-acting disease. Still, sickness didn't mean she couldn't read her book. Defiantly she refocussed her eyes and started into another chapter on cell metabolyte data as the other girls paired up and chattered quietly to each other. Five minutes later she was completely unconscious and drooling slightly on one of the pages.

It was peaceful enough, and for most of the morning the five of them were content enough to be in the ward rather than in the field.

* * *

Give her credit, Kurenai wasn't a people-person at the best of times. She was quiet, intense and serious-minded and had been all her life. She suspected the real reason she seemed unable to simply ignore Anko and stare in frustrated aggrovation at the ceiling while she wished she was with her teammates was the girl's sheer peskiness. But even then, she found that she couldn't be mean to Anko. And Kurenai was plenty capable of being mean if she felt like it (not that she did often, but she _could_) so there had to be something else. Maybe it was the other girl's bright but brittle smile, maybe it was the way she had to be too young to be out learning how to be a ninja with someone like Orochimaru, maybe it was the fact that she was actually pretty funny: but Kurenai found herself sitting on the end of the girl's bed with her horoscope book and trying to keep her from bouncing off the walls.

"So do I get to pick which one I am?" Anko asked, staring with narrowed purple eyes at the Zodiac wheel spread across two pages infront of them.

"You don't choose your star sign Anko-chan," Kurenai said, tracing her finger around the wheel.

Anko frowned, so far as she was concerned you chose everything that was yours. "Why not?"

"Because it comes with the month you were born in - and you were born at this point in October so it makes you a Scorpio. See? A neat scorpion sign for you," Kurenai smiled a little over at Anko and the other girl smiled back before taking a good look at the picture of the scorpion on the page.

"Does it eat the other ones?" she asked expectantly.

"No… Anko-chan…" Kurenai sighed, wondering where this violence came from. She supposed it wasn't a bad quality for a _ninja..._

"It could kick the crab's ass," Anko insisted. "And totally devour those fish."

"It's not meant to - oh forget it, come on, let's look at another page," Kurenai rolled her eyes a little, and turned to the section on tea leaves. Surely Anko couldn't turn that into something violent.

She was shortly proven wrong, Anko saw snakes, swords and kunai in every single set of leaves and Kurenai utilized her immense patience and restraint to resist the urge to smack her head off the bedside table.

* * *

Having watched Rin pass out in her book, Shizune smiled a little and carefully got to her feet so she could slowly walk over to Suzume's bedside. She eased herself into the chair next to her and smiled familiarly over at someone she hadn't seen in far too long a while. Shizune remembered Suzume from being seven years old, and wondered how much the competent Chuunin infront of her had changed from that girl.

"So how is it working in Intellegence?" Shizune asked to start, curious about the mysterious department's operations. Shizune might have been a talented medic, but her indepth specialization into healings and poisons meant she knew little to none about the other aspects of shinobi operations in Konoha. Always thirsty for knowledge, she wasn't about to let this opportunity slip by.

Suzume pursed her lips, "Intellegent," she replied with a knowing smile. "I practically live in the Intellegence HQ in the Palace, my teammate Ebisu-kun and I work with the higher-level strategists on long-range tactics."

"How did you break your leg if you spend all your time in the Palace?" Shizune couldn't help but ask.

Suzume shrugged a little, "I was running a data pouch to an outpost outside the village, Intellegence stuff. It shouldn't have been too high a risk this deep inside our territory - 79 liklihood of no contact with the enemy - but you know how the odds like to play against us these days." The teenager said the last part with a dark frown. She spent alot of time with those odds and they weren't good company.

Shizune's eyes widened, "You were attacked?"

The wavy haired Chuunin nodded once, and dropped her glasses-shielded gaze to the bedsheets. "Yes, on the way back. A 3-man team from Hidden Rock. One of them used that aggrovating _Doton _jutsu, you know, the one where the rocks fly out the ground? Broke my leg in three places," With that she peered down and gave her bandaged limb a trusty pat, "But not to worry, it was worth it you know?"

Having not had that much experience in the field, Shizune couldn't help but ask how. The edgy smirk Suzume gave her made her wonder for just a second if this was really the same girl she'd once seen burst into tears over a broken crayon. She supposed everything changed in times like these, but then why was there so much familiar about Suzume still?

"I was sent alone - given the odds of interception and the current man-power shortage - but I am a Chuunin after all, and I knew they were after me before they showed themselves. I maneuvered them into a trap I'd already set and blew them all apart with explosive tags. It was ridiculously easy, all things considered," Suzume said, talking through Shizune's thoughts.

Dawning fell on Shizune and she couldn't help but gape, "You let them break your leg, so they'd approach you for the information you were carrying and enter the trap?"

"It's the safest way, isn't it?" Suzume said mildly, stretching her arms and leaning back. "Anyway, explosive tags tend to make alot of _noise _so it wasn't long before some of our people came and brought me back. I've been in surgery for a whole day - aparently the breaks were rather dire. I'll need to remember to fall better next time."

As a medic, Shizune couldn't comprehend this cavalier attitude of the girl infront of her towards damaging her own body. But her musings on the subject had to wait because her friend reached over and gave her a light smack in the arm.

"Enough about my admittedly brilliant misadventures Shizune-chan, how are things with you? I heard you had been apprenticed to Tsunade-sama a few months ago." She grinned slightly, "Looks like she's got your loyalty as well as your skill judging from your little spat with Anko-chan over there."

Blushing Shizune nodded, "Tsunade-sama is amazing, she really is-"

"So I heard," Suzume noted wryly.

Shutting herself up Shizune just smiled sheepishly, "I've learned so much already, and her help preparing me for the Chuunin exam in Akagahara was invaluable. She says I have a real talent with poisons and antidotes." Her face fell a little, "If I hadn't been so stupid as to work myself to exhaustion I would have been the one to take care of Anko-chan..."

"Don't waste your time worrying over it, the kid's doing just fine," Suzume assured her briskly, and they both glanced over to where Kurenai was patiently (and a little desperately) trying to explain the principles of palm reading to the hyperactive 11 year old. Suzume dropped her voice a little, "Though I have to wonder what her parents were thinking allowing her to be apprenticed to Orochimaru-sama..."

"They won't think anything of it, her family died in the raid four years ago," Shizune said quietly, looking back to her friend, dark eyes heavy.

Suzume's face froze a little and she sighed, "Guess that explains it then," she commented, seeing Shizune's expression. She knew that look all too well these days and gave her classmate's hand a small pat. "You lose someone in that one too? It was a bloody night."

Shizune sighed a little, eyes still on the bed. "My aunt... well I say 'aunt' she was very young for that. She was at the Academy with us you know, just a few years below."

She glanced over her shoulder to Anko again. "She would have been in the same graduating class as Anko-chan," she said softly.

"I'm sorry, Shizune-chan, for all that's worth," Suzume said, knowing it wasn't worth much. Suzume considered herself incredibly fortunate not to have lost any of her family that night. To be fair, that was because she'd spent it armed to the teeth and defending them - amazed to discover she had the skills to manage that only two days out the Academy. Well, if nothing else Suzume knew she was a quick study.

The other girl managed a brave smile, "It... it's alright. I suppose, that's war isn't it? It was hard on my family, my Uncle Dan especially. He'd always taken care of her, you see. He's a Jounin in the perimeter defence squads you know. He mentions Intellegence sometimes, do you ever see him?"

Suzume nodded, "Yes, he's the one with blue hair. I know him..." she smiled slyly in an effort to lighten the other girl's thoughts, "Isn't he dating Tsunade-sama?"

Shizune went pink and opened her mouth to say something, probably defending the two of them or denying the relationship altogether but Suzume laughed and waved her hands. "I'm Intellegence, Shizune-chan, I know these things, ne?" The other girl gave her a frustrated sort of smile and she went on, "Don't worry, I'm sure nobody cares. It's not inappropriate anyway, they aren't in related divisions at the moment."

"How do you know all this stuff?" Shizune asked, a little amazed. She had enough trouble remembering the names of the hospital staff and she'd been here over three months. Suzume seemed to know everything about everybody, Shizune supposed that kind of memory was what made her so valuable to the Intellegence division.

Suzume just smiled sphinx-like and didn't reply. Shizune rolled her eyes a little and tipped back a little in her chair, working the muscles in her fingers and toes to get her rejuvenating chakra flow into her extremities. She was feeling a bit better now, far better than she had after waking up at least. They were quiet for a little while, but soon enough Suzume was chatting again.

"So what do your family think of you working with Tsunade-sama?" Suzume asked. "Only the best get apprenticed to the Lengendary Princess Tsunade..."

Shizune flushed a little, a hesitant smile flitting over her face, "They... they say its good that even though I'm not fighting like them and Uncle Dan I'm doing something constructive for the village. I... I think they're maybe a little proud."

"Well I'm definitely proud of you, how about that," Suzume told her, deliberately not looking at her suddenly beaming friend but smiling all the same. "Wish my family weren't too scared to be proud of me. God, my mother is such a pain about me running any missions out there - I've just stopped telling her when I go. At least they're never more than a day and quite infrequent these days. Probably just as well I practically live in the Palace at that rate."

"Your family aren't ninjas?" Shizune couldn't keep the surprise out her voice. Given that this was a war between ninja villages it was predominantly only ninja families who were by this stage sacrificing their children to be trained in the arts of war. Civilians had mostly abandoned Konoha, save a few stalwarts like the Teuchi, the Ichiraku chef, who'd thankfully stuck with their village. Shizune didn't blame the others for leaving, in a way she thought it best they did, even if it hurt. Raids like the one that had killed her little aunt were more and more common these days, and nobody was safe.

Suzume shook her head, "We run the Korean BBQ on Lotus Street." She smiled, "If you ever get hungry just mention my name in there and you'll get all the free dumplings you can eat."

Shizune would have graciously accepted the kind offer, but she was too busy stammering in surprise. "But... why did you... I mean the war has been in full swing for a decade, why did they let you attend the Academy?"

"Who says they 'let me' do anything? When I was seven I told them I was going and I went." Suzume almost laughed at Shizune's stunned expression, "They weren't best pleased, you know - said I should be learning how to cook instead - even my big brothers and sister. But, well, they changed their minds a little after the raids started and it became clear even people trying to make an honest living were fair game for our enemies."

Shizune knew how that went, "Are they all alright?" she asked, knowing she probably wouldn't like the answer.

"They're all still alive and kicking, or should I say, cooking," Suzume told her, and Shizune couldn't help but smile. "We've had some close calls but we stick together and franky, having a ninja in the family has been good for business, even if they don't like it very much. So far nobody who's tried to break into, set fire to, or bomb the restaurant and its proprietors has managed it. Or managed to retain their limbs for that matter..."

"They're very lucky to have somebody as clever as you to defend them, Suzume-chan," Shizune said a little amazedly. It was kind of inspiring, to hear that at least one small family, one way of life was surviving during these troubled times.

"Aren't they? Even they have to admit my traps rock," Suzume said with a grin. Shizune couldn't help but grin back as her friend sighed smugly and glanced up at the ceiling. "Still, doesn't stop them worrying themselves sick whenever I do anything beyond polish my kunai. I suppose that's just how it is when you've got a non-nin family."

"Oh I don't know, despite what they say my parents are very, very glad I'm away from the fighting most of the time," Shizune told her.

Suzume nodded thoughtfully, "It's bitchy to say, but it's a good thing you're taking specialized training at the hospital Shizune-chan. It's brutal out there, hideous. The reports I see..." She shook her head a little and found herself glancing over to where Rin had fallen asleep under her textbook. "I mean, take Rin-chan. You saw who her sensei is, you heard where they've _been_ for the past month. She's a high callibre field medic, I'll admit but she's still twelve years old and she's been out there fighting since she was _six._"

"You can't be serious," Shizune murmurred.

"I am. Her team's file crosses my desk every other week. The missions they've taken, I mean it's all well and good having a genius like the Yellow Flash leading you - and they say that Hatake boy is something else despite, y'know, what happened with his father - but still..." She let out a low breath, "I don't want to think about the things she's seen and done and been through. We graduated when we were ten! Can you believe they dropped the grad age so low for some of the kids after we left?"

"It's not right," Shizune said tightly. "People with talent like Rin-chan's team and Anko-chan shouldn't be rushed through the system like that, it's not safe for them."

Suzume laughed a little, dry as a bone. "Shizune-chan, listen to yourself. It's not safe anywhere. At least they're learning how to be useful to Konoha faster than we did. And they are useful, there's no question there."

"It can't be good for them in the head, I mean... what they do normally isn't _normal _at all," Shizune insisted quietly.

Suzume shrugged, "No. But you're better off crazy than dead. Anyway, in a way Rin-chan's totally luckier than me or you."

"Huh? How?"

The other girl grinned and Shizune didn't have to imagine her eyes sparking behind her dark glasses, "Well, I spend all day everyday with _Ebisu_, and love him though I do he is such a stuck up little closet-pervert; and a dozen old men in a stuffy office. You've got Tsunade-sama who is admittedly a very pretty lady but a lady all the same and I'm kinda sure that's not your angle..."

Shizune rolled her eyes, "Well given that she's dating my uncle we've established it's not _hers_ at least," she replied evenly, voicing some of Suzume's wry banter.

The other girl smirked as her friend finally loosened up a little in the face of her gossipy teasing, "Right... well for all the shit she goes through at least Rin-chan's sensei is pretty hot, ne?"

Shizune burst out giggling and had to balance to keep herself in her chair. "He's a total dork!" she laughed quietly, trying to make sure Rin couldn't hear.

"Oh come _on_! Didn't you see his body?" Shizune went bright red and kept giggling into her hands as Suzume went on, "And hey, cute face too; love the blue eyes."

"I guess he was kind of sweet," the medic admitted in a whisper, then stopped herself to give her friend a squinted look, "Oh come on yourself, Suzume! He's like so older than us."

"Doesn't stop me from looking and it shouldn't stop you either," Suzume grinned slyly, "I mean, we kunoichi ought to get some compensation for being outnumbered by these stupid men as well as dealing with these pointed weapons and threats of death all day everyday."

"That's a conflict of interests, Suzume-chan," Shizune said, trying to sound stern despite the laughter in her voice, "We do what we do to protect Konoha and serve the Leaf."

"Screw that, I joined to spot some cute shinobi tail," Suzume informed her coolly, and Shizune's uncontrollable burst of laughter knocked her clear off her chair as Suzume tried and failed to keep down her own snicker of amusement.

* * *

A few hours into the morning, Shizune finally had to retreat back to her bed to rest up but still had a blushing grin plastered on her face from Suzume's conversation. Things might have changed with both of them, but they could still talk themselves hoarse. Kurenai had needed a similar break and was back in her own bed too, still talking quietly with Anko who was animatedly describing the various ways in which her star sign would _totally _own half the other ones. Kurenai had decided to help facilitate this new way of interpreting the Zodiac and was nodding in all the right places while Anko animatedly chattered on. Rin was still asleep under her book.

In general, things had toned down a good bit, and the comfortable lull could have extended for some time. Maybe even until lunch. Until a cheerfully booming Toad Hermit jumped through the window and onto the foot of Rin's bed with a bellowed greeting and dramatic pose that would put Maito Gai to shame.

The other girls jumped in shock, wondering what the hell was going on and why the Legendary Sannin Jiraiya was suddenly in their hospital room.

Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, it was Rin who provided the answer, smiling as Jiraiya reached over and gave her sleep-tousled head a paternal pat.

"Good morning Rin-chan, your sensei - that idiot brained boy of mine - said you weren't feeling well. I've come to cheer you up!" he said cheerfully, apparently oblivious to the fact that she'd been unconscious two seconds previously.

"Good morning Jiraiya-sama," Rin murmurred, trying to rub the sleep out her eyes as she blinked blearily at the huge Toad Hermit who turned to beam at her.

"So Rin-chan how-" Jiraiya's greeting was cut off by a louder-than-necessary call from across the ward

"Oi! Jiraiya-sama-baka what are you doing here?"

He frowned and turned to look down his nose at Anko, "Oh and hello to you too Anko you little brat."

Anko stuck her tongue out at the Sannin and smirked.

"You get poisoned or something? Orochimaru was bitching about it earlier in a mission breifing," he asked casually.

"Yeah, but I'm okay now," Anko said defiantly, just like Orochimaru had taught her - not showing weakness. Especially not around Jiraiya.

The Sannin rolled his eyes, "Sure you are, green's a natural skin tone for your sensei brat - not you."

"OI! Orochi-sensei is not green!" Anko practically snarled.

Jiraiya smirked, "Oh yeah? Well-"

"Jiraiya-sama, we're trapped in here with her when you leave," Shizune said warningly, cutting him off before he could completely enrage Anko.

"Hmph, well don't worry about Orochimaru-teme any brat, he's not going on any missions today," he said in an effort to be civil. Somebody had to be the adult here.

"I wouldn't worry if he was," Anko informed him with a proud sniff, and Jiraiya got that feeling he did sometimes that if Orochimaru ever (god **_forbid_**) had a kid they'd wind up just like this. The number of times he'd gotten that exact same look, that exact same _sniff_ from Orochimaru back when he was a kid... it was just freaky. Really freaky. With that, she went back to examining her palms like Kurenai had been trying to show her and Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume made an effort to give Rin and her visitor some privacy by striking up a conversation of their own.

"How are Kakashi and Obito?" Rin asked, bringing his attention back to the reason he was there.

"Hmm well Obito managed to set Kakashi's sleeve on fire," he said, crossing his arms. Rin groaned slightly. "And the Hatake brat was in the process of using his ass for target practice when your Sensei showed up this morning. He was still yelling at them about it when I got there - swear to god kiddo, that Hatake brat's so wound up I don't know how you stand him."

"He's just different Jiraiya-sama," she said, rubbing her forehead.

"That's one way of putting it," sighed Jiraiya, even Orochimaru hadn't been that tightly strung when he was a kid. Jiraiya had gotten _him _to come peeping more than once - he'd stake his mullet on the fact that Kakashi would be dead before he did anything even vaguely perverted eh, that is, _healthy_ like that.

"He can't help it," Rin said, sounding a little sad.

Jiraiya huffed, "Maybe not, he's still a little bastard though."

Rin sighed a little, there was little use arguing with facts. Then she frowned worriedly, "He didn't really hurt Obito did he?"

"Nawh, Goggle-Boy ran too fast," Jiraiya told her, remembering too-late that he'd been told not to let Rin know about any of that. Oops. Oh well, at least he hadn't mentioned Kakashi's burns - she'd probably drag herself out the bed and out to the training fields herself if she knew about that. He took a good look at her; she didn't seem to be panic stricken or anything by news of her teammate's scuffles. But he could see why his boy had put her in hospital and was acting pretty paranoid about her getting recovery time; she looked terribly pale and her lovely brown eyes were bloodshot and cloudy. And she'd been trying to run missions like that? God.

"What's wrong Jiraiya-sama?" Rin asked, wondering about the suddenly dark look in the Sannin's eyes. He blinked and gave her a cheesy grin, "Ah, just wondering how you guys grew up so fast, I remember when you three were shorter than my knee and now look atcha! Running around with fireballs and medical kits and everything, it makes me nostalgic for the days when you guys could be controlled with promises of ramen and a few hours at the swings..."

"That's still sort of true..." Rin said with a small smile. Jiraiya laughed and ruffled her hair.

With that the slightly sad look dropped out his eyes and Jiraiya grinned inanely over at the girl watching him from over the cover of her book. Rin knew that look, Sensei used it on them when he wanted to go get ramen for lunch. On Jiraiya it meant only one thing, as close to his heart as ramen was to Sensei's.

"Well, I can't bring either in here Rin-chan, but since you're stuck in here with these other sickly girls I thought I'd come read you a story!"

It crossed Rin's mind that this forboded badly, but it was too late anyway. Jiraiya pulled out his notepad and grinned at her.

"You already helped me go through the first three chapters, but I wrote a whole 'nuther one last night that could totally do with your female insights to make it… what's that phrase you use?" Jiraiya gave her a pensive look from over the top of his notepad and Rin gave in.

"'Within the realms of feasibility', Jiraiya-sama," Rin said, putting her book away and getting her 'editor's mind' (as Jiraiya liked to call it) in gear. She was still a little dazed after waking up from her nap, and therefore didn't completely clock the fact that there were four other girls in the room who might not be so accepting of Jiraiya's rampantly perverted eccentricities. Though honestly, seeing as Rin had been practically raised in Jiraiya's company she didn't know _that_ much better. As Shizune had said, what was normal for her wasn't normal at all.

Jiraiya grinned and plopped down next to her to go through one of the drafts of chapter four of Icha Icha Paradise. Within five minutes Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume's convesation had completely stalled in incredulous shock as they turned to make sure they were actually hearing what Jiraiya and Rin were saying. Little Anko was listening raptly, most of the words thankfully flying over her spikey haired head (though she memorized them to ask her sensei about later). Oblivious, Jiriaya went on enthusiastically, asking Rin's advice on every other sentence. He needed it; though experienced and enthusiastic about his reasearch, he was still kind of new at actually writing anything and it helped to have someone who would go through his work with him. Especially someone as kind and good at keeping secrets as Rin. She could also spell, which was a major plus.

At any rate, Rin was the only girl he knew who'd go over his stories for plot holes with him and help inject a little female realism. Actually, besides Tsunade she was the only girl he really knew, and Tsunade would brain him with his own sandal if he asked her to read over drafts of the book with him. Jiraiya was very keen on his stories being just as appealing to the ladies as the fellas, maybe even more so, and so he listened to what Rin said about certain parts being "mindnumbingly unrealistic" and having "glaring anatomical mistakes" and ammended accordingly.

The fact that she was twelve years old didn't really play into it - seeing as she spent half her time running around in battle zones it wasn't like she was some untainted little girl (though, curiously thought Jiriaya, she'd somehow remained innocent). She had the maturity to pass medical school with flying colors, to perform major surgery whilst under attack and to slit an enemy's thoat, Jiraiya felt it only fair that she get to know about the _fun_ side of adult maturity too.

Plus seeing as she was a medic and knew all about human anatomy it wasn't like any of it was much of a surprise to her.

Or at least, that's what Jiraiya thought and Rin left it at that. She might be completely embarassed by their blatantly pornographic content but the fact was she did think Jiraiya-sama's stories were great. The plots were always fun, the characters reminded her of people they both knew, and the emotional transparency of everybody involved was a wonderful escape from the uniformly opaque people they co-existed with in the ninja world. Rin was far from a romantic at heart, but it was nice to imagine a world where it was okay to fall in love with someone without running the risk of destablizing a millitary unit, jeapordizing the safety of a hundred people or being driven insane by their imminent death. It was far from real, but they could always imagine.

Not to mention the fact that she liked Jiraiya-sama and knew it was because of him that Sensei was as amazing as he was. She owed him her sensei and the safety of her team - the people she cared more about than anything, and she was more than willing to surruptitiously go over his books with him if it made him happy.

"And then Junko says..." Jiraiya pulled a mysterious face and jumped into a completely hilarious melodramatic pose, "I am going to lose track of you!"

Which it always seemed to.

* * *

"Hey, what is this? Everybody's got a Sannin but us!" Suzume whispered to Kurenai in the bed next to her. The genjustu girl rolled her eyes slightly.

"Suzume-sempai, that means we're _lucky_," she said quietly with an elegant eyebrow cocked at Jiraiya, as he extravagantly mimed a passage of his latest book. Rin had a hand clamped over her eyes and was watching him through a gap in her fingers.

Before anything more could be said on the subject (though given what she'd seen, Suzume had to agree with the younger girl), the door to the word slid open and a hellfire screech thundered through the room.

"Jiraiya, what the **_hell _**are you doing in the Female Recovery Ward?"

Freezing mid-dramatic-poise, Jiraiya swivelled on his heel to spot Tsunade glaring death-from-on-high at him.

"Behaving like a perverted idiot!" Anko informed her, prompting an exchange of death-glares between her and Jiraiya that only ended when Tsunade strode over and clocked him about the head hard enough to smash his face into the floor.

"For god's sake, Jiraiya! They can't even **run away **from you!" she shrilled, beautiful face flared pink with a familiar embarassed rage.

"Give me some credit, Tsunade!" Jiraiya wailed defiantly as he dragged his face out the linoleum floor, "I was just here doing a good deed for my student, you know how it is-"

Tsunade clearly didn't believe him and crossed her arms as she glared down at him suspiciously.

The girls glanced at each other. Anko looked cheerfully malicious, Kurenai looked thoroughly exasperated, Shizune looked utterly shocked, Suzume looked like she wanted to take notes, and Rin looked like she knew what was coming.

"What good deed could possibly entail you breaking into the Female Recovery Ward?" Tsunade asked, and Jiraiya knew this was his only chance to escape without a more expansive beating. Whoever said girls were easy never met Tsunade. In fact, from Jiraiya's experience whoever said girls were easy was a moron, blind, deaf, and living in a cave somewhere.

Which, judging from the expression on Tsunade's face was exactly how he might end up if he didn't think fast.

"I was just here to check up on Rin-chan for my idiot student, she's really sick if you hadn't noticed," he explained, trying to sound patient instead of vaguely terrified.

Tsunade gave him a look that all but screamed 'I did notice since I'm the village's head medic you moron!' and tapped a foot, obviously awaiting a better explanation.

"And to take her mind off her sickness and suffering..." he said meaningfully, obvously hoping Rin would start groaning in agony to illustrate the point. She managed a small cough. "...I began to regail her with one of my excellent stories!"

Tsuande was well aware of what kind of stories Jiraiya found regailing and her eyes narrowed like kunai aimed at his forehead. It was one thing to pervert your own students, every sensei wound up doing that to some degree (just not so _literally_ as Jiraiya) but to move on to the next generation? There was a reason Jiraiya's team had been made up of three boys, a very good reason.

"Excellent in what way?" she asked, eyebrow twitching.

Rin opened her mouth to say anything before Jiraiya said something to get himself killed but Anko beat her to it.

"Tsuande-hime, in the story it's _excellent_," she said, raising her hands to wiggle the fingers like Jiraiya had (strangely the expression fit),"When a dozen topless babes-"

Rin clapped her hands over her eyes, Jiraiya turned as white as his hair and Tsunade cut Anko off with a yell of "JIRAIYA! YOU DIRTY-"

"Tsunade I can explain!" he squeaked, somehow getting her to stop with her fist an inch from his nose. He could feel the chakra buzzing around it and knew if she hit him with that he'd be coming back in the hospital in a stretcher. If she let them admit him... which she might not.

Tsunade seethed at Jiraiya, who decided his only chance here was to make sure she understood that he had only been discussing plot and characterisation with Rin, nothing more. Well, not much more. But the porn, that is -enthralling romance - was essential to the fabric of the story! Not including it in Rin's analysis of his work was just... inefficient, if nothing else. Yes, that sounded professional and competent. He'd say it like that.

Unfortunately the opening line of what he came out with didn't sound that way at all.

"Seriously Tsunade, what do you take me for? I mean, these girls aren't even legal and-"

He'd meant 'legal' as in of age to read his books.

Tsunade took it the _other _way.

After his teammate's eyes twitched into an O.ó expression Jiraiya realized what that had sounded like.

Two seconds later Tsunade hurled him bodily out the window by the ear with a scream of "**_Get out of my hospital you goddamn pervert!_**"

* * *

After slamming shut the window she'd launched Jiraiya out of, Tsunade turned to the girls and hissed air through her teeth before planting her hands on her hips and surveying the five of them. Even Anko settled down a little under the force of that rage. Shizune hoped her sensei's temper didn't get the better of her in here; she'd seen Tsunade do worse to Jiraiya-sama... but not often.

Sighing, Tsunade reigned in her temper and just rubbed her forehead, "Okay, you girls, he didn't bother you too much did he?"

Behind her Rin quickly mouthed 'say no!' to the other girls who all followed suite. Even Anko, who truth be told, enjoyed agitating Tsunade just as much as she enjoyed agitating Jiraiya. Possibly more: when provoked Tsunade's temper tantrums had the added bonus of propety damage and fluent cursing. But for now she got the impression that helping Rin out here might be better in the long run; at the very least it was leverage for future encounters and Orochi-sensei was always telling her to look to the future.

"No, Tsunade-sama," they all chorused.

Tsunade gave them suspicious looks but just sighed and gave in to their little code of silence. She had more important things to be doing. One by one she checked the girls' progress in recovery and was generally heartened by it. Anko was responding well to her antidotes (the projectile vomiting had stopped at least, god the state of Orochimaru's apartment was probably the reason he wasn't running missions... cleaning it would take all day) and would be well enough to be discharged later in the day. Kurenai's chakra was slowly replenishing with the aid of some wards pasted to her abdomen and back, which Tsunade checked for coherency before telling the serious girl she'd be able to leave the next morning. Rin was through the worst of her flu symptoms and would be ready for discharge to a quiet bed rest in her home in the evening, so long as she kept taking her herbal medications each hour. Suzume's damaged leg was still in serious shape but the pragmatic girl was perfectly unconcerned about it and wasn't surprised when she was told she'd be left in recovery for another few days to heal.

Last, but certainly not least, Tsunade carefully checked her own apprentice over and was unaccountably relieved to see she had some color back in her face. When Shizune had passed out onto her patient's bloody leg Tsunade had nearly had a heart attack and after working out what the problem was and angrily placing the unconscious girl in the recovery ward she'd had to spend twenty minutes in the bathrooms fighting down hysterics. It was ridiculous, she knew, but Shizune had seemed fine, been smiling even, and just so suddenly dropped like she was dead and there had been blood all over her face from the wound she'd been treating and she'd been so pale...

It had made Tsunade relive Nawaki's death in a way that she prayed nothing ever could or would again. And aside how furious she was with the girl for getting herself into such a state and then scaring her so badly, Tsunade had been made to realize that Shizune was more than just an attachment at work. The connection to Nawaki she'd felt there ran deeper, and Tsunade had spent her free thoughts for the past day and a half insisting that she didn't want a little sister. Didn't want someone she could lose like she'd lost her little brother.

She'd thought to talk to Dan about it tonight, perhaps. He had a way of making things clearer, of putting emotions in perspective that had made everything so much easier for her these past few years. But for now she just checked Shizune's single chakra ward and gave her a mild scolding about overworking herself. When the girl's face fell and her cheeks flushed she sighed and put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a wink and a smile to make up for it and telling her that it was alright. That everybody had to learn their limits sometime and she'd see her at work tomorrow morning.

It was a touching little moment, and as was her way Anko couldn't let it stand.

"Hey Tsunade-hime? What does that mean, 'aren't even legal'?" Anko asked, curiosity and a complete and utter lack of guile written all over her face.

Tsunade blinked and for a second Shizune almost laughed at the _'oh-shit!' _look on her face. But she caught herself and turned with a cheerful smile to Anko's curious face.

"Ask your sensei about it, Anko-chan," Tsunade said, and then she waved goodbye to the girls and left.

Rin sighed and buried her face in her hands. Jiraiya-sama was going to get beaten on by two Sannin today. Sensei wouldn't be happy.

* * *

This was a little heavier in tone than chapter one, and the other chapters that follow, but I was really set on giving some insight into these characters when they were young, as well as having some humour. As always, please let me know what you think and any parts that you liked/think need improving.

Thanks!

ps: Major credits to Kaeru Soyokaze whose fic 'Fluff, pure and simple' inspired Tsunade's O.o expression...


	3. Chapter Three: Boys According to Girls

Author's Notes: Damn this took forever to write! But I wanted to make sure the girls did the guys justice so I re-thought their interactions from the episodes - so it took a while. Enjoy! One more chapter to go after this. If you wonder who some of the names are go to leafninja-dot-com and check them out in the Biography section to your heart's content. ; )

Major thanks to all my reviewers! You guys make this rock, thanks for gracing this with over 200 hits… (though I suspect many hits just got lost on fanfiction-dot-net)

Uber-major thanks to teh zuul! and bite! for glancing bits and pieces over! And to all my online buddies (notably Kilerkki and Chevira) for peskering me to get this done! 

* * *

**Girl Talk Chapter 3: Boys According to Girls**

"ANKO! Stop eating the bed sheets!"

Things were going as well as could be expected on the female recovery ward of Konoha Hospital. Tsunade's check-up had been and gone, and it wasn't approaching lunch time fast enough for the liking of one of the ward's residents.

"I'm b-fored Kurefai!" Anko scowled around a mouthful of rayon-cotton blend. Saying she was hungry too would just be babyish. Kurenai tried not to scowl. Or laugh. Anko looked so funny; even Kurenai was amused.

"That's not an excuse to behave in such a way," she snapped, crossing her arms. "The hospital needs those bed sheets and-"

"Kurefai! Thisf really does felp wiff the b-foredom!" Suzume called, having just sunk her teeth into a pillow.

"Don't you encourage her, Suzume-sempai!" growled Kurenai, watching as the smirking teenager stuck the pillow back behind her head.

"Anko-chan, are you just bored cos we're talking about boys?" Shizune asked, glancing up from the list she'd been charged with writing. Set on determining the qualities of their shinobi contemporaries, Suzume and Shizune had begun sketching out a list of their male age-mates. Kurenai had been dragged into the conversation by default, Anko was patently uninterested (and letting it show) and Rin was absorbed in her text books.

Anko released the sheets and made a face, "Ewh! Boys are just stupid, and you can knock them out if you kick them 'tween the legs!"

Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume exchanged highly amused looks.

"This is sadly true," Suzume said, "And the purpose of this conversation is to work out which boys are least stupid, cutest looking, and ostensibly we'd have a vested interest in not knocking out with a kick between the-"

"SUZUME!" yelled Kurenai and Shizune.

Suzume shrugged, "Eh, you'll work it out one day Anko-chan," she said.

Anko gave her a look that said she doubted it. Shizune cleared her throat and smiled cheerily.

"Ne, Anko-chan, why don't you have a nap?"

The glare she received in return for that suggestion would have done Orochimaru proud. Shizune cringed behind her sheets and hurriedly looked at her paper pad. Kurenai groaned quietly at Shizune's little mishap. Suzume decided to have mercy of her friend.

"Oi, Shizune? Can I have some of your paper?" she asked.

Shizune got up (she was feeling better by the hour, and it was much easier than it had been) and handed the other girl some sheets of paper. Suzume grinned at Anko and held up a piece.

"Since it's totally unfair for us to bore you to bed sheet-teething tears, I'll show you something cool - okay?" she said.

Anko gave her a suspicious look, but she seemed to be paying attention.

Folding and twisting the paper Suzume produced an origami crane in a matter of seconds. It was pretty cool. In fact, it was the coolest thing Anko had ever seen anyone do that didn't involve a) killing someone and/or b) being Orochimaru. A few seconds later she made a fish to go with it.

Suzume flicked the paper animals over to Anko and grinned, "Think you can amuse yourself with a couple of these?"

"Where did you learn to do that?" Anko asked, picking up them up.

A lazy shrug, "I work in the Palace Offices remember? Plenty of paper around."

Kurenai sniffed, "You have the time to play games in Intelligence?"

"I have to keep my brain active somehow." she said, working on another little masterpiece. "I'll make you a set, you can have them try to rip each other's heads off or something fun like that, ne?"

Kurenai groaned, Shizune rolled her eyes. Rin read on oblivious.

"Hell yeah!" beamed Anko.

A few minutes later Anko had a miniature menagerie of origami animals to entertain herself with, and Shizune had begun reeling through her list. The first few had met with less than sterling receptions…

"Mifu Shinobu?"

"Stupid hair," said Suzume.

Kurenai nodded, "It is quite stupid."

Shizune agreed. His name went off the list. The same went for Hijiri Shimon - who they were all pretty sure didn't swing their way, (however, either despite or because of that fact, he did have decent hair).

"Yamashiro Aoba?"

"Spam," was the universal response.

"Alright then we've got Uchiha Obito."

"Gah, not an Uchiha - they're so stuck up!" Suzume griped with a sigh.

"Hey Rin, isn't Obito on your team?" Kurenai asked.

Rin's head didn't twitch up. Anko threw her origami bear at her and nailed her between the eyes.

She looked up and blinked. "Muh?"

The other four just stared at her, quite possibly they had never seen anyone look quite so spaced in their lives. It was funny.

"Is a book on cells really that much more interesting than trying to work out future prospects amongst Konoha's guys?" Shizune asked.

Rin scratched the back of her head and yawned a little, "Sorry, sorry… uhm, what are we talking about now?"

"Uchiha Obito - he's on your team!" Suzume said brightly, leaning forward a little.

Rin gave her a clueless look to equal her sensei's best, "That's true," she said.

Shizune sighed, "Is he a good dating option?"

Going slightly pink, Rin rubbed her arm. "Well he's like my brother. He's my best friend… that's a weird thing to ask me," she said quietly.

"For the rest of us you slow-coach!"

Rin nodded slowly as comprehension dawned, "Obito is absolutely great. He's the most loyal person ever, and he tries hard at everything. Even if it's not all that likely he'll succeed," she said firmly.

"Well that's nice, but he doesn't sound much like the other Uchiha's I've run across," Kurenai said.

"Because he's a million times _less_ stuck up than all those other Uchihas," Rin said with a definite note of pride in her voice. "Obito believes in people - in what they can do and what they're worth. That's kind of his nindou, I suppose."

"Awh, that sounds promising!" Shizune said cheerfully.

"Hang on," Suzume said, "Didn't Jiraiya-sama just say he tried to set your other teammate on fire?"

"Uhm, yes… but that happens a lot," Rin murmured, cringing slightly.

Shizune rolled her eyes, "Okay okay, moving quickly on - Namiashi Raidou?"

"Raidou's cool," Suzume said with an equally cool shrug.

"A bit strung-out sometimes," Kurenai remarked quietly.

Shizune sighed and stared at the ceiling, "Who isn't these days?"

Everyone was quiet for a moment. You couldn't argue with the truth.

"Whatever," said Suzume, breaking the silence with a shrug, "More importantly, he's got a really cute bellybutton."

Everybody gave her a sideways look. Evidently Suzume had decided if you couldn't argue with the truth you could always focus on more important things.

"And how do you come by this information?" Kurenai enquired pointedly.

Suzume shrugged, "Stalked him."

Kurenai, Rin and Shizune just blinked at her.

"Orochi-sensei says doing stuff like that is anti-social," Anko said disapprovingly as she tried to get her origami crane to peck the head off her origami fish.

Shizune clapped her hands over her eyes, "I don't know what to be more surprised about, Suzume stalking Raidou; or Orochimaru-sama giving you diction on what is or is not anti-social," she muttered incredulously.

"Well, I say 'stalk'," Suzume said, cheerfully unperturbed by the other girls' reactions, "It was part of my training to join Intelligence, I had to successfully detail every aspect of a Konoha ninja's movements for two days, and then accurately predict them for the next week and a half."

"Was that to demonstrate you could extrapolate data properly?" Rin asked, interestedly.

Suzume nodded and grinned, "Among other things. But really, what self-respecting kunoichi is gonna pass up the chance to-"

"Spot some cute shinobi tail?" Shizune said, trying to keep her face straight.

"It's the sacrifice we make for our art and our village," Suzume told her with a hand over her heart. It was enough to have Shizune burst out laughing, Anko giving up on both of them and going back to her origami, and Kurenai despairing for the future of kunoichi-kind.

_I'm keeping you away from Jiraiya-sama,_ thought Rin from behind her book, picturing the two of them bent over a manuscript of Icha Icha Paradise and cackling indecently before breaking out the binoculars and Polaroid cameras.

"Well obviously Suzume's staked that one out for training purposes," Kurenai said crisply, (making Shizune snicker, Rin grin into her pages, and Suzume simply smirk 'damn straight') "So who else is there? Preferably someone who doesn't have 'property of Suzume' stamped on their backside."

"I didn't stamp anything on him! Though the idea is very kinky of you, Kurenai…"

Before Kurenai could do anything drastic, Shizune waved the list she'd written in the air, "Alright - next is Genma! Shiranui Genma, what about him?"

There was a moment's silence as the latest name was considered. Anko, having no idea who Shiranui Genma was, occupied herself by pitting what was left of her origami animals in a death match of impressive proportions.

"He's cute," Shizune insisted, a little shyly, off-set by the other girl's silence - interrupted only by the ferocious rustlings of paper from Anko's cot.

"Yeah, but he's so laid-back he's practically perpendicular," commented Suzume, flopping back on her bed and grinning a little.

"That's not a bad quality," Kurenai said, "It's nice to be around people who don't get worked up easily."

"Yeah but he doesn't get worked up about anything! I mean, the one time Ebisu and I stole his bandana and filled it with itching powder. He didn't even notice!" Suzume's grin grew even more pronounced and she graced the other girls with a cat's-got-the-cream grin. Shizune laughed and Kurenai rolled her eyes and shook her head. Anko decided she liked Suzume's style.

However Rin, looked up from her textbook and raised her eyebrows from across the room.

"That wasn't about three months ago by any chance was it?" she asked, peeking over the top of her book.

Turning as best she could, Suzume gave her a surprised look, "Yep, it was..." she grinned slowly, "Why? Did Genma appeal to your medical talents to-"

Rin bit her lip and gave Suzume a pained look, "You stole the wrong bandana. I was wondering why Ibiki-sempai came to me asking about-"

There wasn't even time for a moment of dawning horror. Suzume's eyes widened like saucers, and she clapped her hands over her face. Two seconds later she doubled over in her bed, nearly concussing herself on her leg-cast.

"You filled _Morino Ibiki's _bandana with itching powder?" Shizune screeched incredulously, "Do you WANT TO DIE?"

Suzume looked up long enough to hurl a pillow at her. Rin and Kurenai swapped glances and Anko wrote down the new curses she'd just learned

"Shut UP Shizune!" Suzume yelped, glancing furtively to the closed door of the ward, as if Ibiki might be lurking on the other side with a stethoscope pressed to the wood.

Kurenai decided to just say it, "If he finds out that was you, you're as good as dead Suzume-sempai," she said.

While Suzume glared at Kurenai, Anko filed this information away for future reference and resolved to introduce herself to Morino Ibiki as soon as possible.

Rin tried to make the news a little less desperate. "Well... uhm... I didn't tell him that's what was wrong with his head. I think he just thinks it was a heat rash or something, okay?"

"Okay," Suzume sighed, deciding that having a freak-out-panic-attack was a bad example to set for the others. Clearing her throat she took a sip of water and glanced to Shizune.

"So who's next on the list?" she asked, all business.

"Morino Ibiki," Shizune said, deadpan as she could manage.

If Suzume's leg hadn't been broken she'd have kicked Shizune's ass.

"But after him we have Mizuki," Shizune said quickly, scanning down the list.

"Jerk!" Anko said immediately, and the others turned to her with eyebrows raised.

"Oh yeah?" Suzume said, interested and momentarily distracted from her glaring at Shizune.

Anko frowned and pointed her origami cat out the window - presumably to where Mizuki would be listening if he knew what was good for him - "That jerk wouldn't know loyalty if it bit him in the ass! I was in his class at the Academy - he's _still there _by the way - and he was just always out for himself," she scowled, crossing her arms and glaring fiercely.

"Well then he's off the list," Kurenai said simply. And Anko blinked at her just a little in response to the instant acceptance.

Shizune and Suzume nodded. Rin was lost in her book. Shizune struck him off the list and pointed her pen at Anko. "Well advised Anko-chan," she said sagely.

Anko gave a self-satisfied nod and went back to playing with her origami.

"Next up is… Akame Iwana? Hey, isn't that the guy with the eye patch? Brown hair, thin face?"

"He thinks he's a pirate," Suzume said with a dismissive wave.

"His eye got gouged out Suzume!" Kurenai snapped.

Suzume shook her head, "No it didn't, he just wears that patch cos he thinks he's a pirate," she said.

Kurenai and Shizune gave her an 'are you kidding me?' look. She told them to aim it at Iwana next time they saw him, and to check the patch was over the eye they last saw it on.

"Tobitake Tonbu?"

"Thinks he's a mummy."

"Suzume! He actually has a problem!" yelled Shizune.

"A problem that necessitates the bandaging of his entire cranium? Can you give me the medical reason for that?" Suzume's scepticism clearly knew no bounds.

Shizune rolled her eyes, "What does it matter? I mean, he's a kinda creepy guy but I'm pretty sure he's good at heart."

Kurenai frowned, puzzled. "How does he do anything? His eyes, ears and nose are all bandaged up."

"Maybe he navigates by… sonar or something?" Shizune postulated.

"As in… he goes 'beep! beep!'?" Kurenai was unconvinced, "And hears the echo? How does that work if he can't hear?"

"Good point," Shizune conceded, "Maybe he does it like a snake? You know, tasting the air with his tongue?"

"Can you be a functioning shinobi navigating by taste alone?"

Suzume snapped her fingers for attention, "Hey you two, this is off topic - would any of us date him?"

"No."

"Nope."

"So who's next?"

"Rokushou Aoi?"

"Never trust a man with green hair," Kurenai said immediately.

Shizune and Suzume blinked at her, even Anko looked up from where she'd just had her origami fish gnaw the foot off her origami giraffe.

"Why's that?" Shizune asked.

Kurenai crossed her arms, "My sensei always said that. Plus that boy is horribly vain as well."

"Well that's out," Suzume said, "I don't mind a guy who watches how he looks, all for it really, but vanity only good looking on girls."

"Love the logic you pair," murmured Shizune, nevertheless striking Aoi's name off the list.

"Next up is Sarutobi Asuma," she said.

"Talk about opposites - now there's one who could use a little vanity on his side," Suzume groaned.

"He is a bit scruffy," admitted Shizune.

"He is extremely scruffy," Kurenai said, "And _extremely _lazy. And… very, very… slouchy."

Suzume and Shizune blinked. "Slouchy?"

"He is, he's lazy, scruffy and slouchy," Kurenai said firmly, looking up at the ceiling. Anko was the only one close enough to spot it - but the smallest smile tugged at one corner of her mouth, for just a second. "But still, he's a good person."

The others said nothing but they did give each other Looks, before Shizune smiled.

"Well you can't ask for more than that," she said.

Suzume nodded and smirked just a little, "Well, since Kurenai's staked that one out for purposes of inventing vocabulary let's move on shall we?"

Before Kurenai could do anything Shizune fell back on the tactic of waving her list around.

"Hey hey! Next on the list is…uhm…uh oh…" she murmured, running out of steam as she saw that she'd run out of names.

"What about that Maito Gai… guy?" Anko suggested, coming totally to the rescue.

"Too unique!" Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume all said immediately.

Frowning, Rin brought her face out her book again, "Hey! For your information, Gai is perfectly-"

"I hope you aren't about to say 'normal', Rin-chan," Suzume said.

Rin gave her a slighted look on Gai's behalf. "Fine. Gai is perfectly fine. Leave him alone."

"Gai actually _is_ too unique Rin, we're not being mean to him," Shizune said placatingly.

"As if that would be difficult," Kurenai murmured without looking up. Rin gave her a dirty look.

Suzume and Shizune exchanged glances. Looked like Rin had a soft spot for the Maito kid. Shizune thought that a bit weird, until she remembered Rin liked Jiraiya. Suzume thought it funny as hell, and kinda cute.

"Alright, he's a good guy, brave as all hell and definitely self-confident. But he's so loud! And he's got those crazy eyebrows! I mean, seriously, they're capable of independent movement - I've _seen them at it._" Suzume said, mimicking Gai's caterpillar eyebrows with a few amusing squiggles of her pointer fingers.

Not even Rin could argue with that. Gai's eyebrows were… indisputable. Kind of like Gai himself.

"Jeez… that's everybody," Shizune sighed, flicking once more through her list.

There was a collective sigh. The five of them (Anko and Rin were being included if they liked it or not) hadn't really had much luck there had they? Most of the guys were either clueless and careless about girls, laid-back to the point of comatose, or psychotic. Due to circumstances, all were by default homicidal. There may have been some lookers, and some good personalities among them… but… as for datability? When the best option for a boyfriend from the current dating pool does in fact turn out to be Maito Gai well…

"That's a bit tragic, isn't it?" Suzume said with a sad huff. "I mean… damn… it just is…"

"Is that really everybody? I feel like we've missed someone," Kurenai sighed, frowning at the problem. She hated missing the details, and she felt like they had here. A good genjutsu user could never be sloppy in such matters.

"Oh hey!" Suzume grinned, snapping her fingers in an eureka moment. Everybody glanced over to her, even Rin and Anko who had been ostensibly involved in other projects during the conversation.

"How about... Hatake Kakashi?" Suzume asked suddenly, turning to stare piercingly at Rin, who would have flushed bright red if she hadn't been so well trained in the art of resisting interrogation. Instead she just gave the older girl a flat stare.

"What about Kakashi?" she asked in a plain tone of voice.

"Well," Shizune said considerately, "We sit here talking about all the guys around and there's one we're over-looking. Probably because none of us have ever really seen him."

"Yeah, I wonder what _he_ looks like?" Suzume said, looking thoroughly curious and tapping her lips with her fingers in an absent staccato beat.

"Tell us Rin, you must have seen what he looks like some time," Kurenai asked, curiosity winning out.

"It's a mystery, come on!" Anko chipped in.

"Yeah, what's he hiding with that mask of his?" Suzume asked, keen to get answers from the one person they all _knew _had them.

Rin said nothing and went back to her book. Not about to be defeated, the girls looked to each other sharing a canny glance.

"Hn, must be something bad to keep it hidden all the time... maybe he's got really bad acne," speculated Shizune, reasonably.

"Probably, bet he's got stupid beaver teeth too," Kurenai added idly.

"Could have big fishy lips," threw in Suzume, pulling a fishy face.

"Or a nose with a giant wart on it like Jiraiya-sama-baka does!" Anko joined in with gleeful malice, which was enough to have Rin (who had been clenching her teeth by this point) abruptly glare up over the edge of her book and yell "_He does NOT!_" at the four of them. She instantly saw her mistake when the other four girls turned to smirk at her.

"So you _have _seen his face?" Kurenai said, raising an eyebrow.

Shizune and Suzume leaned forward and stared eagerly, "So what does he look like Rin?"

Rin bit her lip defiantly, but the four of them pressed in with their enquiring eyes and curious expressions so she darted her eyes back to her book.

"Why won't you tell us Rin-chan? We can keep a secret, it's just us girls!" Shizune promised, hand over heart.

"We won't tell anybody else," Anko wheedled, mimicking Shizune.

Rin remained silent, just calmly turning another page.

Kurenai sniffed, "Maybe she just wants to keep the information all to herself,"

Suzume saw her opening and went for it, "Yeah, in fact, I bet she just wants to keep Kakashi all to herself!" she declared with a grin, knowing that implications of romantic intent would instantly have the younger girl spilling her guts. For god's sake, it was a terrible thing to be accused of and it wasn't like she actually...

Rin turned bright red and quickly buried her nose in the spine of her book to cover her face.

"OH GOD YOU DO!" shrieked Suzume, prompting a gasp from Shizune, a disgusted face from Anko, and a flatly incredulous stare from Kurenai.

"I c-certainly do not!" she replied, quavering voice muffled through a hundred pages of cell metabolite information.

Anko hummed something that sounded like 'Rin-and-Kakashi-sittin'-in-a-tree' and Rin pulled her face out the book to glare at her.

"Look, I do not!" she protested, more calmly this time. Not about the tree thing, she sat in trees with Kakashi all the time, but that wasn't the point.

"Are you sure?" Suzume asked with a teasing smile. Anko just sat and grinned at the whole spectacle, origami abandoned. Watching people squirm was the best kind of fun around. Kurenai clearly couldn't believe any sane, reasonably stable girl like Rin could think that way about… well… Kakashi.

"Of course, we've been on the same team since we were little and I'm his medic - that's how I've seen his face and I'm not about to give up something he wants to keep hidden without his permission. You know all about that don't you, being a medic?" Rin said calmly and clearly.

Shizune nodded, wondering if maybe their assumptions had been wrong. She got the feeling they weren't, but... well... Rin was right in everything she was saying.

"Okay okay, we'll drop it," Kurenai said - keen to keep the peace (and keep her belief in Rin as capable of rational thought) intact, and Rin was careful not to look too mollified. Or relieved.

* * *

Lunch arrived not long after and everything was forgotten in exchange for a communal bitching session about the hospital food. Even the stoic Kurenai joined in after nearly choking to death on something that tasted like burnt dango but looked like mouldy ramen. Or maybe it was the other way around. 

Rin meanwhile, had abandoned her (admittedly horrible) food because she didn't feel very hungry. Her stomach was fluttering and she was getting confused because that wasn't the kind of side-effect associated with 24 hour flu. Frowning slightly at her suspicious meal, she pushed it away and looked out the window, wishing Sensei and Obito and Jiraya and Kakashi were here. It wasn't like they couldn't keep themselves out of trouble inside the village for one day (though... actually, that wasn't true when she thought about it) but she missed them. She missed Obito's chatter and happy smile, she missed Sensei's steady presence, even though he'd just gone she missed Jiraiya's ruddy face, and she missed Kakashi's voice.

Sighing she found herself staring at her knees and thinking about earlier. She wondered why she'd reacted like she had to Suzume's words and the others' teasing. It was just Kakashi after all.

Well, that wasn't right. She never thought of him as 'just Kakashi'. Sometimes she'd think 'don't worry it's just Sensei' or 'oh it's just Obito' but she never thought anything that ended with 'just Kakashi'.

_I wonder why that is..._ thought Rin, also wondering why she hadn't noticed it before. She'd been with Kakashi forever, since before she could remember back when they started the Academy when they were four. The same was true with Obito so why didn't she look at both of them the same way? Obviously they were both very different, every person was different, that was what made them special. But what was it about Kakashi that made her always pay attention? It wasn't like there was anything about him she particularly looked for any more than she would with any of her most precious people. There wasn't anything... was there…?

_Like when he cocks his head before he asks a question._

Okay there was that. He'd always done that. It was just... him, that was all. One thing about him she could read.

_Or how he's ticklish behind his ears._

That was just reassurance he was human... sort of. He could go so far into himself sometimes...

_Or how he looks when he smiles and I can see his face._

Well that was special because even she didn't get to see his face very often and he was rarely in the mood to smile.

_And when his eyebrows furrow together when he's concentrating._

That was cute.

_And how his breathing sounds when he goes to sle - what!._

Rin's heart ground to a stop and she gasped.

Oh no. Oh _no. Oh no oh no oh no..._

"You okay over there Rin?" called Suzume, watching the younger girl's face turn a strange shade of purple to out-do her stripes.

"Maybe she's being choked by one of these crappy rice-balls," Anko commented, grabbing one off her tray and hurling it out the window to hit a bird with pinpoint accuracy.

"Don't throw food at birds," Kurenai muttered disapprovingly as the bird cawed weakly and flapped into a tree.

Anko gave her a look, "Orochi-sensei says I should."

Kurenai didn't have much of an answer to that, so she sighed and swapped Anko's rice balls for her bowl of soup. Anko grinned at her and dug in; Kurenai made a half-hearted attempt to eat her additional crappy rice balls. It was hard going, but worth it to keep Anko from assaulting the wildlife and stubbornly starving herself. Soup was probably better for someone prone to projectile vomiting anyway.

Meanwhile Shizune had eased out her bed and padded over to Rin who was going wide-eyed with what looked like shock. She reached over and touched her shoulder and the other girl blurted out, "Shinobi Rule-Twenty-Five!" so fast she garbled the words.

"Uhm, you okay there Rin?" Suzume asked as Shizune looked her over for signs of her flu deteriorating.

Rin blinked and looked up at Shizune and managed a smile that didn't really look like a smile at all. "Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine. I just... erhm... this food is very awful," she said, prodding her bento with a shaky chopstick.

Shizune nodded agreement, and they both turned when they heard the sound of a strangled 'caw!' to see Anko leaning on her tiptoes out the window with a purely vicious grin on her face and a shuriken wire tied to her wrist.

"Don't worry!" Anko informed them cheerfully, reeling in the shuriken wire, "We can have poultry instead!"

Anko pulled up the wire with a crow dangling from the end. It was easy large enough to feed two of them.

"Anybody know any good fire jutsus?" she asked with a predatory grin. "We could have a barbeque!"

Mayhem shortly ensued as Kurenai yelled for Anko to stop killing the village wildlife, Suzume burst into laughter, Rin blinked blankly, and Shizune spluttered into her hands.

Anko tossed the dead bird onto the windowsill and flipped the shuriken on the wire back into her hand. She glanced around, and smirked.

"Hey! Anybody want squirrel?"

* * *

Comments always welcome! 


	4. Chapter Four: The Future

**Girl Talk**

_Anko, Kurenai, Rin, Shizune and Suzume - it might be a war but girl talk never goes out of fashion y'know..._

Final chapter! My goodness, could this have taken any longer? Probably not! Oh well, here it is at long last, the final chapter of 'Girl Talk' and my fave of all of them. Thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers, and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations.

Dedicated to this story's reviewers thus far: Inspiration doesn't come much better.

Oh! And an Author's Note: I understand that according to some of Japanese supersition when you sneeze, it's because somebody is thinking about you. Thinking about you _lots._

* * *

In an effort to save the squirells (of which Anko had caught four before anybody could stop her) and keep anything more gruesome from happening (though what could be more gruesome than Anko using her sensei's katana to skin and dice the poor things, wasn't a thing to be thinking about) Kurenai and Shizune had simultaneously had the same thought. If Anko would please not skewer the skinned squirells on her IV stand and start a fire for a barbeque, they'd use Kurenai's fortune telling book to do big calculations and try to work out the future for her.

Anko immediately forgot about her proposed squirell sandwich, and while Suzume subtly flung the corpses out the window and cleaned the blood off the floor with a jutsu she'd invented especially for the purpose, Anko, Kurenai and Shizune sat with the old and creaky book and worked through the different methods and calculations to see if they could see the future.

For her own part, Rin had been ignoring them and her textbook and staring far-away-eyed out the window for quite a while. In the last ten minutes she started to smile a little dreamily and a little sadly and rub her finger idly over the spine of her book. Thinking things with the part of her mind she didn't use very much at all... and wondering if these thoughts had always been there.

_I wonder... if he'd ever... one day when the war's done..._

"Oi RIN!" Anko's shout pierced the bubble of quiet around the medic girl, and she turned away from the window to look at the young girl giving her a demanding look.

"Hmm?"

"Whatcha daydreamin' about?" Anko asked, sounding suspicious.

"Nobody - I mean - nothing," Rin said quickly, "Nothing, Anko," she repeated with a small smile.

Anko gave her a funny look as Shizune and Suzume (finished with her task) looked up from Kurenai's book to raise their eyebrows again. Rin quickly put her face back in her book before they could say anything.

Kurenai looked at the two older girls and all three of them shook their heads.

"Three guesses who the nobody she's not thinking about is," Kurenai murmurred, sounding a little disproving. It wasn't that she hated Kakashi or anything, she just got the impression he was notoriously hard to follow and stuck up. Kurenai might have been a little stuck up herself, but she wasn't _that _bad. That's why is was good to be around more easygoing people. Like Asuma - at least he was verbose enough to have a normal conversation with. It was nice. She liked Asuma.

_Kill this train of thought dead._

No but really, he wasn't that-

_With your shoe._

Honestly though, Asuma-

_Thwack.._

And without giving away a throught in her head, as any good genjutsu user could, Kurenai turned to the next page of her horoscope book.

Suzume, spotting that Rin probably didn't need Anko's merciless hassle on the subject of what she was thinking at the moment, beckoned the other girl over and grinned slyly. "Hey, Anko-chan, I betcha there's something you can't do."

Anko's eyes flashed like daggers and the little girl shot Suzume a look of pure disdain she'd learned far too well from her sensei. "No way!" she stated, crossing her arms and glaring up at the dark-haired girl.

"Ah, well it's not just you that can't do it - nobody can do it!" Suzume said, lifting her arm. "See? It's actually impossible to lick your elbow." She gave it a shot, to show how it couldn't work and then gave Anko a teasing look. "But since you said you could do it just now..."

Anko gave her a cocky look and swiftly raised her arm to try and do what Suzume said was impossible. To her complete shock... it turned out it was.

Naturally, that fact didn't stop her from spending twenty minutes trying to prove Suzume wrong - which was the plan all along. Smiling smugly, Suzume brushed off Kurenai's quasi-disapproving look and hopped into bed on her and Shizune's other side to read through the book with them. At least now Anko would be occupied until they could finish off what they were doing.

"Damnit! Grrr! Ah'll flixh yoush, elbowth!" _Thump! _"OwchtH! Ah bith ma thongue!"

Well, occupied but definitely not quiet. You couldn't have your cake and eat it after all

* * *

At long last they were close enough to done with the horoscopes, and Anko was panting with exhaustion but still fiercely trying to make contact between her elbow and her tongue. 

Suzume, taking mercy on thepurple-haired girl,double-checked her calculations through her oval glasses and called out, "Oi Anko-chan! We're done! Yours says something about... a birthmark?"

"I don't have any birthmarks," Anko retorted flatly, unimpressed, angry at her elbow and her tongue,and only now noticing her squirells were missing.

"Maybe you'll grow one," Suzume said with a smirk, "These things are never wrong," she teased.

"Maybe it means metaphorically," Shizune said, far more reasonably.

Suzume rolled her eyes, "How can you have a metaphorical birthmark?"

Kurenai read over Suzume's shoulder "It says she'll bear the mark of her beginnings, sounds like a birthmark to me."

Anko grinned and hummed, "I wonder how cool it's gonna look!"

"Maybe it looks like an inverted squirell," Suzume muttered, smirking and snickering.

"Okay, okay, do mine!" Shizune said with an eager grin, leaning forward.

"Shizune... it says you will walk a long road that is not your own," Kurenai announced quietly, elbowing Suzume (still snickering) in the ribs.

The medic tried not to look put out, "So... like, I'll get lost on my way back to my house?"

Everybody else burst out giggling and Shizune went pink. Suzume rubbed tears out her eyes and patted her friend's knee.

"Don't worry about it Shizune, maybe it means metaphorically," she smirked.

Shizune went even pinker and Anko fell out her bed laughing as the others chuckled. She snatched the book and sheets of paper out of her friend's hands and read over the results for Kurenai.

"Hey...Kurenai... hmmm... it says something here about... uhm... dogs and bugs?"

Kurenai didn't look like she liked the sound of that. Anko asked if that meant she'd be in animal control when the war was over and Kurenai gave her a pointy glare.

"I'm not an animal person," she said definitively. Shizune and Suzume just laughed. Across the room, Rin smiled a little.

"You didn't want me to catch us some animal lunch," Anko pouted.

"There you are, can't argue with the mystical horoscope!" Suzume informed her cheerfully.

Shizune waved from across the room. "Hey Rin, give me your info so we can do one for you!"

"I don't really hold with those," Rin said quietly.

"Awh c'mon!" Suzume wheedled, "Don't you want to know the future?"

Rin wanted to say "Not really," but Anko was still giggling, and she looked so very young. So she smiled a little ruefully, and just shook her head.

* * *

There was a knock at the door a short while later, interrupting the blether and chat of the ward. Somebody called 'come in' and the door opened to reveal a smiling face behind a pair of orange-tinted goggles.

"Hey Rin, are you feeling better?" asked Obito, pink-cheeked from training and still panting a little from racing all the way there.

"Obito! Yes, I am thanks," Rin smiled at her teammate, putting her book away as he stepped into the room. She could spot dirt on his face and grass in his hair and wished she could have been there training too.

He grinned at her and waved at the other girls - a little nervously when he spotted the pretty pair of Kurenai and Suzume. But he forgot all about that when he remembered why he'd insisted on being the one who came to check if Rin was ready to leave hospital.

Obito jumped up onto the foot of her bed and grinned gleefully. "Hey Rin! You'll never_ believe _what happened at training!" he crowed, not bothering to lower his voice.

Rin gave him a questioning look and he positively crowed, "You shoulda seen it, Kakashi had a _sneezing attack _like half an hour ago that lasted over ten minutes!"

Rin went a funny color. Obito obliviously chattered on, cackling away to himself in amusement.

"See! You think it's funny too! D'you know what's funnier though? We were water walking when it happened and he fell right in! Sensei had to go _rescue _him!"

Rin looked like she might die. Her stripes almost ran away from her face

"Hahaha! Sensei thinks it's hilarious too, he teased Kakashi for the whole thing that somebody must be thiiiiiinnking about him," Obito stretched the word out the same way that their Sensei sometimes did in a perfect mimicry. Rin would have impressed, despite the furious blush on her face, if she hadn't suddenly caught sight of four pairs of eyes smirking at her from behind Obito's back.

There was silence for all of three seconds (save Obito's chuckles) and then Shizune, completely dead-pan said, "Gee Rin, as a fellow medic it sounds to me like you'd better go check him out."

"Check him out, yes," Kurenai added.

Suzume nodded, "All the way out."

Anko pulled her innocent face - the one that made her look five years old and worked on everyone but Orochi-sensei - and added in a thoughtfully concerned voice, "If he's got something wrong maybe he needs you to kiss it better."

Obito was wondering what exactly he was hearing when he got knocked out into the hallway by Rin's hastily thrown satchel. Before he knew what was going on Rin was out her bed, shoes on her feet, and had him by the wrist. He didn't even have time to yelp before she was pulling him down the hall and calling a quick goodbye to her roommates over her shoulder.

"But you're sick, Rin!" they could hear Obito's voice echoing in the corridor.

"Feeling better now," Rin replied quickly, putting as much distance between them and the smirking foursome in room 203 as possible.

Clueless, Obito assumed she was flushed with glee like he was at his news, the four girls could just hear him saying "I know I know, isn't it awesome - the great Hatake Kakashi brought down by allerigies - and he bitches at me 'bout my eyedrops..."

Back in the room all four of them burst into giggles at the other girl's predicament that lasted almost a minute. Eventually they calmed down and took stock.

"Oh bleh!" Anko made a face. So Rin was all kissy-faced over that weird guy? Weak.

Shizune and Suzume both grinned and went "Awh that's so totally cute!"

For her part Kurenai smiled, but she looked a little sad, "Maybe, but it's dangerous to get attached like that to a teammate," she said sternly. Every kunoichi knew that. Love affairs between shinobi made great romance novels; but more often than that they made failed missions and pairs of gravestones.

"Awh lighten up Kurenai-chan!" Shizune smiled, "It's a miracle someone on that team's got normal impulses."

"Having a crush on Hatake Kakashi isn't a normal impulse," Kurenai replied primly and the other three burst out laughing.

* * *

Meanwhile, standing in the courtyard outside the hospital were the Yellow Flash and Kakashi. The young Hatake was rubbing his masked nose and trying to look like an attentive, perfect ninja despite the fact that he felt bleary, wet and vaguely dizzy. His sensei was glancing down at him in vague concern, wondering if he was coming down with something. Kakashi's sneezing fit had been something to behold, and though he'd seen _alot_ of things in his twenty-something years, he'd never seen anyone sneeze so hard or for so long in his life. At one point he'd had to hold Kakashi by the shoulders to keep him from falling over.

It occured to him to joke that someone was thinking really, really hard about his prodigal student... so of course he did it. As a consequence he found himself recieving a pointed glare from Kakashi (who he could see was flushing at the idea even with the mask on) that just made him laugh even harder and Kakashi sneeze even worse. Ergh... maybe he really was sick with something.

The Yellow Flash sighed and rubbed the back of his head as Kakashi dripped lake water on the ground. This was all very weird, and he thought it a bizzare coincedence that such a thing should happen the one time they didn't have Rin with them. Speaking of which... was that her bolting out the front door?

"Rin's feeling better Sensei!" Obito yelled (rather superfluously) when they were out the front door, skidding as Rin finally stopped pulling him out the hospital.

The blonde man sighed, relieved and pleased that his girl was doing better. She hadn't looked well at all this morning, and he'd been kinda worried all day. He ruffled her hair when she and Obito trotted over and she smiled up at him, letting him see her purple striped cheeks. He grinned back and watched her smile over at Kakashi, who nodded back but then winced at a crick in his neck acquired during the sneezing fit. Obito was trying not to snicker. Rin immediately looked guilty. Their sensei was nonplussed for a second but just forgot about it when something else occured to him (as he often did).

"Hey Rin," their sensei asked, jacking a thumb at the pale haired boy, "Now you're feeling better can you look Kakashi over?" he asked.

_Every second of every day,_ a voice in her head said. It sounded like Jiraiya-sama. Rin mentally locked it in a box and decided she needed to cut down on her 'editing' work. Maybe that's why she was thinking in these weird ways. Honestly, it was just Icha Icha Paradise... as if Kakashi would ev-

Inside, Rin kicked herself very, very hard.

"Do you f-feel like you're coming down with something, Kakashi?" she asked, trying to keep the stutter out her voice.

Kakashi gave their sensei a glare for bringing up the possibility that he might have something wrong with him. Obito looked slightly concerned despite himself at the idea, and blinked his eyes behind his goggles. Rin for her part looked at him and bit her lip. Determined not to give herself away she just pushed up his hitae-ite and put her hand on his forehead, raising her other hand to check his pulse. Both were fine, temperature cool like it usually was, heartbeat quick and light as per usual.

"Hold still Kakashi," she said quietly, reaching a hand round to where he'd hurt his neck and pressing her chakra-lit hand against the pulled muscles. She had her eyes closed in concentration and automatically set about healing the small injury with a carefully applied jutsu. A moment later it was done, and she blinked her eyes open to find Kakashi staring right at her.

"Ah, you're fine Kakashi," she said reassuringly, pulling her hands back and feeling them brush his scrappy hair, glad nobody else could feel the funny tingle running up her arms. He tugged his hitae-ite back down and cocked his head at her a little. She blinked at the familiar action, which suddenly seemed new, different somehow. Oh hell, what was wrong with her it was _Kakashi _for goodness sake! Hatake Kakashi who she'd known since she knew herself, who she was supposed to take care of, who she'd always been beside, who she...

Oh_ damnit_.

"Are you sure you're feeling well enough to be out here Rin?" he asked quietly, because her face had just turned a little redder. Okay, alot redder.

She quickly nodded and tugged on the strap of her satchel, trying to push the feelings away and not really succeeding.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, and so are you - more to the point, gee I'm hungry let's get lunch!" she rambled quickly, talking over the thoughts she was having in the privacy of her own head.

"It's seven at night, Rin," Obito pointed out.

"Dinner then! Man, I need ramen, hospital food is so terrible! C'mon Sensei! C'mon Obito!"

Five seconds later the three of them were out of sight (if Rin knew anything, it was the way to that pair's hearts), leaving Kakashi to wonder what exactly was making Rin turn funny colors and ramble like... well, like Obito did; when he got nervous. Shaking his head slightly, and rubbing a hand distractedly over his neck, he got ready to catch them up and had bounded into the nearest tree when-

"AaaAaCHOO!"

Having spied the whole scene from their window, and been treated to the sight of Kakashi the genius ninja being knocked out a tree by a sneeze; Shizune, Suzume, Anko and even Kurenai burst out laughing at the tops of their lungs.

* * *

Orochimaru came to retrieve Anko a few hours later, ostensibly so he could get his katana back. Not deigning to knock, he materialized like a vampire at the foot of Anko's bed - making Kurenai, who'd been teaching Anko how to braid string, yelp in terrified shock and fall out the cot. Ignoring her, he turned his gold eyes on Anko and watched her bound up grinning at his sudden appearance.

"Orochi-sensei! I'm all better now, see?" Anko cried cheerfully, waving her arms for good effect.

He did indeed see, she was back to her hyperactive homicidal little self. Joy.

"We're going Anko," he informed her, and twenty seconds later - after some hurried goodbyes to the others (who were frozen in solid terror) - she was trotting along behind him as they left the hospital.

They made it all the way to the Hokage monument before he realized Anko wasn't jabbering on about her day. Perhaps she'd finally learned to keep quiet. If a poisoning had taught her to keep a silent tongue in her head he should have done it himself long ago. He turned to look at her, curiosity winning over his better sense, and saw that far from keeping her tongue still she was waggling it about, busily engaged in trying to... what the hell?

"What are you doing?" he hissed, making her freeze in the most ridiculous position he'd ever seen her in. And he'd seen her in many. Several passers-by stopped to stare. He glanced at them and they ran away trying not to scream. Then he clipped Anko over the head, making her take up a normal stance as she rubbed her forehead.

"Answer me," he demanded, arms crossed.

Anko frowned and looked up at him, "Suzume-sempai says its impossible to lick your elbow," she said.

Mistaking Orochimaru's silence for confusion she clarified, "With your tongue."

Orochimaru considered kicking her into the side of the Hokage monument. Instead he closed his eyes, took a shallow breath and opened them to glare at her.

"Why would you-" he started to say, only to be cut off by Anko's inspired scream of "I bet you can do it Orochi-sensei!"

He just stared at her, but she was not to be deterred. With an enthusiastic grin she danced on her feet and waved her elbow in the air, "I totally know you can lick your elbow Orochi-sensei! You can do anything, right?"

The Sannin wondered why he didn't just try to kill Sarutobi-sensei for assigning him this insane brat. The only way this Jounin-sensei-escapade would wind up building his body of life experience (the premise on which Sarutobi had bitched him into it) would be via the time he spent in prison on Anko's murder conviction.

If they could catch him. Which they couldn't. So there wasn't even that.

Knowing from experience there would be no peace (such as there was in Anko's company) until this was done, Orochimaru waited until nobody was looking, raised his arm, let his kimono sleeve slide up and quickly touched the tip of his elbow with his unusually long tongue.

Anko just stared up at him the same way she had the first time she saw him summon Manda. Like he was God.

"Your tongue is the coolest Orochi-sensei!" she exclaimed gleefully, making several dozen passing townsfolk stop to gape at them. Despite the danger factor.

"Don't tell other people that," he snapped, dropping his arm and striding on his way. Tsunade taking _that _out of context was all he needed, she already had Jiraiya's rampant perversions to deal with.

Anko trotted up just behind him, "It is though! Wow! You're the best sensei ever!" she carrolled.

Orochimaru tried not to roll his eyes, and was utterly confused when they passed a shop window a few minutes later and he caught himself smirking in his reflection.

* * *

Kind of bored now that the younger girls were gone, Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume chatted into the night, were told to shut up and go to sleep by serveral porters, ignored them, and kept talking. The next day Kurenai and Shizune were released, and the genjutsu gennin quickly hugged both her upperclassmen before leaving. She gave her horoscope book to Suzume to keep her company, and from getting bored. Wisely, she was worried about the consequences of Suzume getting bored, particularly if there were any male patients in the hospital under the age of forty. Shizune worked in the hospital, so she made sure to come visit Suzume as often as she could. Later on that day she delivered a note from Anko, gleefully informing Suzume that _her _sensei could indeed lick his elbow and was by obvious extension the greatest living being on earth.

Suzume had rolled her eyes and smiled. Shizune had spent the rest of the day biting her own tongue to keep from asking Tsunade-sama to try and lick her elbow - just to equal the score with Anko and Orochimaru. She wondered how Anko had gotten someone like Orochimaru to do something so... well, so childish. It had probably involved wheedling him to the point of exhaustion. If nothing else Anko had proven an excellent wheedler. She'd probably do well in interrogation... maybe someone should hook her up with that Morio Ibiki guy, he was into that field. He couldn't be any more disturbing of an influence that Orochimaru-sama.

Rin had also sent a note, delivered by Kakashi who materialized, put the sealed note in Shizune's hand and vanished in about as much time as it takes to blink. Inside, written in medic's code, was a pair of birthdays and a tentative request for a horoscope reading signed by Rin, who'd decided that maybe she was a little too curious to be afraid of the future. Knowing poor Kakashi had no idea what he'd just delivered, she'd given it to Suzume who had grinned and worked the whole thing out using Kurenai's book and gotten Shizune to send the result back to Rin at home.

It hadn't exactly been promising, but then falling for that messed up prodigal boy wasn't exactly promising either. Suzume had no intention of reading his palms thank you very much, she made enough depressing predictions as an intellegence analyst. But hey, Rin obviously knew something the rest of them didn't which made it worth the risk.

As Suzume explained to Shizune the afternoon she was discharged, for all they knew the Hatake kid was a real looker under that mask. Shizune had just laughed and kicked her out on her crutches, promising to keep in touch.

It was the first and last time the five of them were ever together in one place.

* * *

Thirteen or so years later, the surviving quartet of Konoha kunoichi found themselves hanging around in the Jounin lounge and waiting for various friends to arrive. Like it always did, the conversation turned to their jobs; Kurenai's Gennin team, Anko's unclassified Special Jounin duties, Suzume's Academy teaching, and the recently returned Shizune's medical work. They didn't comment on the fact that Rin was gone, they didn't need to. She'd been lost a long time ago, along with many of the people this four held dear.

So the conversation flitted aimlessly, lifelessly almost. It wasn't like they didn't want to talk, somehow it just seemed they didn't have anything to talk about. That was, until they heard the telltale shout of "I challenge you my Eternal Rival!" and raced to the window to watch Gai or Kakashi publicly humiliate the other as they had done since they were all kids.

"Arm wrestling? Didn't they do that week before last?" Kurenai commented blandly as Gai inexplicably produced a table and chairs from nowhere and threw himself into one, waving his hand. It still amazed her how she'd come to take these extremely weird men as... well, extremely weird but somehow comforting to have around. Not that she'd admit it under torture, of course. But she did.

Shizune shook her head, "No, that was jan-ken-pon - Gai just got over-enthusiastic when his paper beat Kakashi's rock..."

"Didn't Kakashi have to kick him in the head to get him to let go of his hand?" Suzume asked, casting her mind back to the memory. "I remember something funny like that..."

"Good times," said Anko with a smirk.

Shizune shook her head and smiled, "I can't believe they still do this..."

"Some things never change", Kurenai said with a roll of her eyes as Kakashi and Gai rolled their sleeves up.

They leaned out the window and watched the battle begin. Gai yelled a furious challenge and was so busy gesticulating with his other arm it was amazing he didn't dislocate it. Anko cheered when Kakashi tripped Gai under the table and almost pinned his hand. Suzume and Shizune yelled outrage and Kurenai smiled. They were ninjas after all, they were supposed to be sneaky. Suzume said she took offense at the blatantness of it, but couldn't keep from snorting into her sleeve and wondering about the pair of them - two of her commrades she'd never quite been able to fathom.

After all, Gai was alarmingly extroverted and about as tightly strung as a crossbow wire. And Kakashi, well he couldn't possibly be more introverted, but he was about as blase as you could be and get away with bothering to breathe. How the two of them connected she had no idea, but suspected alot of it had to do with Gai's refusal to give up on anything he'd started, and the fact that Kakashi was actually alot more human than anybody had suspected back when they were young.

Except Rin, who'd obviously known all along.

"Hey Gai, while you're here I've got a question for you about one of your gennins," Kakashi asked idly, completely failing to show the huge strain he was under keeping Gai from flattening him. The crowd watching the two of them had grown to about a dozen of Konoha's higher ranked nins and in the background Suzume was pretty sure she'd just spotted Genma taking bets. Damn, she should have thought of that.

"I will TRIUMPH in this CHALLENGE my Eternal Rival!" Gai bellowed, unimpressed by Kakashi's conversational gambit. Kakashi's hand was dangerously slanted towards the table top now and he wasn't about to lose the advantage. "In spite of your HIP and MODERN diversionary tactics!"

Kakashi was plainly frowning in consternation at his rival. "How is it 'diversionary' to ask what you do when Tenten gets that PMS thing? Sakura's acting weirder than normal and I need to-"

Gai's eyes nearly bugged out his head. "DAMNIT! YOU DON'T JUST TALK ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING, KAKASHI!"

"Hn? Why not?"

"BECAUSE!" Gai spluttered, now realizing he was losing ground to Kakashi, and roared something about his friend's impropriety and idiocy before trying to kick him in frustration under the table.

Suzume rolled her eyes, people thought Kakashi was clued in? That was just because he didn't open his mouth very often. Some of the things he came out with put her in mind of that Naruto kid. Which in turn put her in mind of Yondaime-sama and she figured out where both of them got it from.

The Yellow Flash, brilliant ninja, amazing Hokage, fantastic human being.

Completely clueless.

Suzume wondered if Rin had seen that in her sensei and her teammate all along, and when she glanced to her fellow kunoichi she realized they were thinking the same thing. They didn't talk about Rin, but Suzume for one thought of her sometimes.

Particularly when she saw Kakashi do something clueless.

Down below it looked like Kakashi almost had Gai pinned, but then - suddenly -

The Legendary Copy Nin sneezed so violently he was knocked backwards off his chair. And kept sneezing for five minutes more.

For reasons that completely eluded everyone else, Anko, Kurenai, Shizune and Suzume burst into cascades of laughter that lasted almost all day and went out that evening to have a girl's night out - to toast a friend of theirs whose influence was still apparently being felt.

It wound up being the first of many, and they made sure to drink to the gone-but-not-forgotten Rin as they discovered that they still had plenty to talk about. From Shiranui Genma's latest attempt at a lady-killing exploit (Kurenai had used a genjutsu on him that had him chatting up a lampost in her stead all night) to Jiraiya's return and repeated inflitration of the hot-springs (Anko had broken his face on behalf of all the other women last week and recieved three offers of a free lunch) to the fact that Umino Iruka was actually pretty hot (Suzume had accidentally-on-purpose walked in on him in the Academy locker rooms) all the way to Shizune's reflection that she'd been all around the Shinobi Countries, but nowhere had she found a group of men as weird, funny and worth fighting for as those of Konoha (a slightly tipsy cheer for that, despite the fact that no way in hell were they ever going to let the men know).

So the conversation wound on in anecdote, teasing, gossip and sarcastic put-down all night. Life might change, and girls might grow up, but girl talk never changed.

Why meddle with something so perfect?

* * *

And that's the END! Congratulations and thank you so much for reading this far! So sorry to have kept you waiting! Wow this wound up being long! But I liked writing it. Hope you liked reading it, if so let me know. Criticism and comments always well recieved.

Thanks to the penguin (a kind of chocolate biscuit) that inspired me with the elbow thing... hahah Orochimaru rocks.

sincerely, sna.


End file.
